AubÉpine

hamster wheel
hamster wheel
another ache
wake up with
Turn around

turn around
always end up
unsatisfied but
endlessly
In the same position.

Breathing, waiting
Holding on, waiting
Refrained, waiting
Waiting, collapse
wait.

Wait
Endlessly?
Endlessly.
Why should I?
Because you Must,
you said you would!
Do it.

Wait?
Wait.
Why wait?
Because you said so.
I can't wait!
Angry you,
you have to.
Wait and wait again.

Distracted
how interesting other life is
I see a hamster
I see a wheel...OH
NO, IT IS BACK!!!
The haunting!
What should I do?

Wait. You must wait.
Wait always,
patience will fruit
away your anxieties.
Well. I suppose it will.

It is all over me
It is ATTACKING ME!
Help me, help, me,
I cannot breathe
I have no strengh
running in the hamster wheel!

Wait, dear, you must wait.
Wait why, I had enough of waiting!
Wait for your heart to open
Wait for this loveword to cry
Wait and be patient for your past
will resolve
one day
wait
one way
Wait!
Why why,
why?

Why should you wait so long after all?
Because I said I was going to wait!
But waiting surely in this state
will get the worst (words) out of you?
Damaging, get out of it!

No, I must wait.
I am in it now.
I said I would wait.
Wait forever and
have faith
or rather
not have faith
but wait anyway

I know the outcome
I know for it is always
my outcome that I know
is with me always.

It will end up that I have waited
and my wait was giving time
for the other to decide otherwise
and go away
go away
I am alone again
I
like
safety
alone
not
can't stand
alone

he is gone
He is here!
IS he? Where?
He came back.
He went away!
He is.
He not!

groin growing growths like grapes
of gracious anxiety in my bodidies

I cannot hold it I cannot hold it
My tension is eating me alive
I am dying alive...


********************************************


"I want to shake this cavalier
riding on my back!
Me, Wild Horse,
will find my freedom again
Only in freedom
I am safe
Run forever in green desolated fields
the wind caressing my hair for however long
the pleasure takes me
Jumping over the happy flowing river
clean water splashing on my sheen
Joy joy give me freedom
For I could never accept again
for someone to own my destiny,
Whilst I wait for fate to take me
Wait and die of anxiety"